Nando can be very difficult to pass and even more difficult to beat on a mountain bike race. Here are some tips on how this may be achieved.
1) Tell him it’s your birthday. Tie as many balloons to him and his bike as you dare. Nando the party animal will play along. Ride away from him as wind resistance takes its toll.
2) Pretend you’re riding as a team in a group. In casual conversation mention how nice it is to be part of the team. On a narrow track create an instant bottle-neck group of cycling traffic by riding more slowly than usual. Nando the team player will stick with the group, not wanting to break the comradeship. Ride-off from the group at your leisure.
3) Point out someone who needs help. Assist someone to need help if necessary by swerving in front of them and putting on your brakes. Nando the gentleman will stop and help. Ride off.
4) Pour water on the track before a race or do a rain dance to make a muddy patch. Nando the high flyer will fly off his bike and roll in the mud. Pass him while he cleans up.
5) Race at night. Nando the cool will be wearing his racing shades. In the dark he will not be able to see the track. Pass him as he rides off in the wrong direction.
6) Sneak up behind and ride behind in his blind spot. Listen to Nando sing Afrikaans Liedjies. Nando the trusting will be happily content and unprepared for your well timed surge past onto narrow single track.
7) Falsify a weather report and mention rain and cold. Nando the prepared will opt-out of the race for trail-running. Enjoy a ride without competition.
8) Create a long list of “Race Instructions”. At the starters gun give the list to Nando. Ride off while Nando the planner is reading.
9) Pretend you need help with planning. Say you’re not sure what to take with you on the race. Nando the organized will write a list for you. Pump. Water bottle. Buff. Shades. Maybe shades will be first on the list. Ride off while he is writing.10) Mention how Giant have developed a new type of cleat. Watch Nando the techno-junkie struggle with his ‘old’ technology. Ride off on your normal pedals.
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